prosadist

They ARE reading this! I CAN'T even feel safe in the cyber world. BLOG STALKERS!! WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME?! LEAVE ME ALONE!

I am not blogging anymore.

I foresee a need to reformat my computer some time soon. That will be the n-th time I am doing it. Lost count. Something just doesn't feel right. It is reverting between classic display and XP style (yes, I am still on XP). Speakers are back. They weren't detected yesterday. I hope it has got nothing to do with the sound card..

I am troubled by something. I don't know if it is even necessary to keep thinking about it. Giving myself undue stress? I just don't like this. I hate this feeling. I want to be living, not just existing. He is right. Nobody can help me. They are just giving me false hopes. I wonder what's wrong.. I keep falling. My life has been in a downward spiral since JC. God must really hate me..

A multitude.. An avalanche. Left me with a tsunami of negative emotions. I NEED to get up. I need to get back on my feet. Nothing I tried thus far is working..

I need more RAM for my computer. It is like super laggy. Ok.. Maybe I am over utilising it. I am running quite a few programmes simultaneously. In the process of defragmenting the drves. At least I am doing something constructive.

Found a retarded game on Facebook, Restaurant City. All you have to do is turn it on and let it run. You don't have to do anything and just wait for it to level up. I don't know why I am "playing" it since I find it retarded. There are a lot of thing which cannot be explained. I guess this is just one of them.

I am thinking a lot about something. I just don't know..

I want to blog. But I don't know what to say. I want to do something. But I don't know what to do.

Matt is back. He didn't die.

Look at the title, I don't even know if I am confused or not.. I don't know what got into me. I just feel a lot of hatred and resentment inside. I still don't see what's wrong with what I did. I believe they are the ones with the problem , NOT ME. I think I will need to resolve this issue. I agree that it is not a laughing matter (being as fearful as I am is not funny too). If this doesn't settle itself, I am sure I am going to send people to meet their creator very soon. Follow in the footsteps of Cho Seung-Hui..

I don't mind jail. I would probably feel a WHOLE lot safer in there..

This is an advertisement by MCYS. I think I got the direct opposite message of what I am supposed to get. It makes it seem like a national duty to get married. I still think people are better off being single.

Damn it.. Against my wishes, I had to reformat my computer AGAIN! Damn Conficker. I am so going to rip up the idiot who created it. First, I had problems installing the wireless adapter. Then settled. Then I had problems downloading Flash Player. Also settled. But I destroyed my 4X4 rubix cube. Instead of one big cube, I have MANY small cubes. Damn..

This song totally expresses how I feel now. On the brink of breaking down..

YJCians may find this familiar. Taken some time ago. A4-20. My favourite spot when I am in 215. This picture has special meanings to me. Taken after I was stuck in Sunrise Wing for some time. Haiz... If only education come WITHOUT exams.

"We regret that only shortlisted candidates will be notified."

I HATE this sentence. Even if I throw a stone into the sea, though I know that the chances of seeing that stone again is slim, at least I get to hear something as the stone breaks the surface of the water. Sending out resumes is NOTHING like that. You won't see the resume again and you won't hear from the employer as well. Seriously, WHY ADVERTISE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HIRE?! I just want something to do, to keep myself occupied..

Any of you know of jobs to introduce?

April Fools' Day prank came two day late for me. The Conficker worm virus was created for an April Fools' day joke. In order to protect my computer against the virus, I downloaded a software from Microsoft. I guess the software did protect my computer against the virus, BUT the software has a corrupted component and screwed my whole computer. As of 1208hrs, my computer screwed up because I tried to protect it. What an irony..
 
I had to reformat my computer for the second time in less than three months. I hope they catch the culprit for Conficker soon. Rip that fella up with my bare hands. I hope my computer doesn't experience any major problems anymore. I had enough reformatting it.

Is God for real? If He is real, WHY did he let some things happen?! What happens after somebody is dead? Is there really hell? I don't know what to think.. I don't know what to believe.

I find it increasingly difficult to blog about things..

This is getting on my nerves.

For your own safety, please stay outside my room.

Went out today. Quite rare for me, cos it's a Sunday and there is A LOT of people around. Walked past a coffee shop where there was a huge group of westerners eating there. When I was walking past, they decided to stand up and toast each other. They are in wet gear, so I assume they just had a water sports competition where they did well. Bloody hell. They make sooo much noise that even as I was two blocks away I can still hear them clearly.

Reminded me of what a group of my Karate friends did, I was a part of them. I remembered it was after some competition. We did the same thing - toast each other. Not as loud as them. Not as many people as them(they put three huge round tables together). Bloody hell! The police came sia. But not for them. This is so unfair. Utter INJUSTICE! Tolerance level for the foreigners, or just the ang mohs, are higher than the threshold we set for locals. What is this? Aren't we all humans? Just because they earn expat salary means we are inferior? I just don't like inequality treatment.

Another reason for despising them: They are hogging all our jobs! Do you know how difficult it is to get a job now? I just feel that Singapore is being INVADED by these foreigners. I don't know what to think of the gahmen.. I don't deny, I have to commend them on thinking of using foreigners to make up for the fall in young blood to drive the economy due to falling birth rates. But they just fail to see that locals just get so suffocated among these INVADERS that we are escaping to other countries.

On the other hand, think in economic terms. Due to relatively high literacy rate, locals call for higher salary. Imagine you are an employer, you have a choice between a local and a foreigner. The foreigner does the same work as the local for a lower pay, which would you choose? Profit-minded employers will DEFINITELY go for the cheaper alternative. This applies for jobs in general. This is also thanks to the gahmen for imposing compulsory education for the locals and making it almost impossible for locals to get jobs without the proper qualifications.

For executive positions, the scenario is different again. In this case, foreigners are considered to be the elites, aka foreign talents. Now, foreigners get better pay because they are the so-called talents. The company has to go through a whole lot of shit to import these people in. These talents get the expat salary AND perks we locals will NEVER enjoy. I can't find another country that lays out the red carpet AND dangle the carrot for foreigners at the expense of the locals.

You just can't blame me for holding resentment towards foreigners.

Livejournal doesn't support certain HTML codes used by Cbox...

P.S. Look! Different face!

Haven't slept for more than 24hrs. Eating one pathetic meal a day. I feel like I am courting death. Went to the polyclinic today. Waited for one and a half hours for the damn consultation which lasted less than 5mins. Bloody hell. From the way the doctor handled, I seriously think anybody who has the ability to memorise the standard drugs' names and uses can be a doctor. Turbanator. He think I am a student who goes there just to keng MC. I don't really blame him. I doubt he is paid enough to listen to everybody.

P.S. I realised that all the moods have the same face. Ok.. Maybe I am feeling similar emotions.

I hate this. She doesn't respect MY privacy. Since young, she taught us that it's rude to open up other people's letters without the recipient's permission. NOW SHE IS FUCKING DOING IT! You guys know me, I don't usually use vulgarities. This just shows how much I hate people INVADING my privacy. The name of the recipient is written on the envelope for a reason. If the other party is sharing public information, he or she would have written the information ON the envelope itself and not put the information IN an envelope. Bloody PLEBEIAN. Respect works both ways.

Respect works both ways. YOU jolly well respect others FIRST, before you expect others to reciprocate that.

Played around with LiveJournal. Tried to put up Cbox, but somehow it just doesn't show.. There is a customised sidebar which is HTML enabled. So I really don't know whats wrong.. Don't know if LJ actually supports Cbox.